Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Lessons about love from a candle

The flame was brighter than normal. Kunle looked to see why and saw that the candlewick was not burning up. There was a flame all along the length of the wick, which had now bent over because there was no solid candle wax to prop it up.

It made an interesting spectacle and Kunle thought no more about it as he looked away. NEPA had just struck and the heat was unbearable. He wasn't exactly in the mood to appreciate odd-looking candle flames.

But something brought him back to the candle. When he looked at it again he noticed the burning wick had now gotten longer and now protruded to the side of the candle. As a result the candle now had two flames - one in the centre and one to the side, to the left, where the wick was hanging over the candle's edge.

The flame at the edge was causing the wax at the edge to melt faster than the wax at the centre. This formed a slope, and molten wax flowed down the slope, down the side of the candle, all the way to the base of the candle. This flowing was forming another structure, which now stood next to the candle.

As he looked at the straight candle and the forming structure of wax growing from it - and standing by it and in fact leaning on it - he couldn't help but recollect the bible verse "So God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh".

The flowing, hard to describe figure had come from the straight, hard candle. It now stood side by side with the candle. It complemented it. It leaned on it. It drew life from it. They fit, as if that's what the manufacturer intended.

As Kunle looked at the "candle couple" he realized that he'd been unwilling to be leaned on in prior relationships. He'd insisted that women he'd dated "do their own thing". He didn't like them dependent in any way.

But as he watched the spectacle before his eyes he realized that the fragility and beauty of the stalagmite depended on the strength and sturdiness of the candle. No strong and sturdy candle, no flowing, expressive, stunning stalagmite. One acted as a foundation for the other. One added beauty and expression to the other's existence. They were better together.

He also realized that it was the candle's responsibility to "hold the flame", the flame which gave the stalagmite life, the flame which is the candle’s reason for being.

Kunle sighed as he blew out the candle flame.