His bags were set to go. He wasn’t taking much. Just two bags. Enough to get him through the first month.
Besides he didn’t want to log heavy bags around. He had three stopovers and lots of flying time ahead of him. He planned to do some heavy shopping after settling down. Winter gear would be his first priority.
He couldn’t wait to see her again. Couldn’t wait to run his fingers through her long blond hair. He loved the way his fingers ran through the length of her hair. The way it felt against his skin. Like silk. Warm silk.
He also couldn’t wait for the silent times. When he would just look into her eyes and she would also just look back. So much was said in those times.
He looked forward to holding her. To making love to her. To sharing ice cream. To being together.
He'd left her side barely 4 weeks ago, but it seemed like an eternity. He yearned to be back by her side, to the place he belonged.
It would take him three stopovers, two days and close to fifteen hours of air-time before he could touch her again. It was a lot, but for him nothing else mattered. Not the fact that he was back in his home country. Not the fact that he was back in familiar surroundings, with family and friends. Not the fact that he'd just moved into his own apartment.
He checked to see if he'd forgotten anything. He had a habit of leaving his toothbrush behind when traveling, so he checked to be double sure. Yep, there it was, all packed snuggly next to other toiletries, in the orange case that came with it. He'd bought the brush because he'd the liked the gorgeous girl in the TV ad. And he'd bought the same brush again each time one wore out. It was like a constant in his life. "You're such a sucker for pretty girls", he murmured to himself as he zipped up his bags.
He looked to his left and saw that his PC was still on. The monitor was off, but the CPU was still on. "Good thing I noticed that. Don't want any hacker breaking into my computer while I'm away".
He walked towards the computer to put it off but then decided to check his mail one more time. "I can spare five minutes", he thought, "let's see if I have any new mail".
He did. It was from her. One line. "We have to talk". That was it.
He opened up MSN Messenger to see if she was online. She was. It made sense. It was just about 10 am his time. About 4 pm her time. His flight was for 12.
She'd changed her screen name. She did that a lot. but it made no difference because she was the only member of the group called "My sunshine". Every body else was in the default group "Friends".
He clicked on her icon. A chat window popped up. Talk about what, he typed.
Talk about what, he asked again. The reply came 4 minutes later. "Sorry, I was away from my desk. How are you"
Him: I'm fine. What do we have to talk about?
Her: Oh that. Well, I was just thinking. When is your flight?
Him: It's at 12. I'm actually just about to leave for the airport. Gonna take a cab from downstairs. You haven't answered my question
Her: Well, there's something I have to tell you
Him: About what?
Her: Me. You. Us
Him: Que?
Her: It's not good
Him: Well, don't you think you should tell me now before I board a plane to fly to the other side of the world? You do know its mainly because of you that I'm taking this flight?
Her: I do. And that's what got me thinking...
Him: ???
Her: Well, if you're coming all the way here just for me, it really doesn't make sense
Him: Thought we'd been thru this
Her: I know
Him: So what's the problem now?
Her: I fell for someone else. Sorry...
The rattle on the keyboard stopped. Silence.
Her: You there?
He felt a pain shoot through his head. Or was it his chest? He couldn't be sure.
Her: Hello?
Thoughts flashed through his mind. The airport. Boarding passes. Screaming kids boarding the plane with pensive parents. The snow he wouldn't be seeing. The lips he wouldn't be kissing.
Her: Say something
Her blond hair. The steely look in her eyes when she wanted to make love. The sky blue turtleneck she loved to wear at home.
Her: Look, I've wanted to say this for some time now but just didn't know how
How could she have fallen for someone else so quickly? A mere 10 weeks ago she'd been reluctant to get into a commitment with him. And now this?
Her: Perhaps I should have said sooner. Sorry
He looked at his bags. All packed. The dark green leather bag had his toothbrush and toothpaste. The gorgeous girl in the ad came to mind.
Her: Please say something
He remembered what a psychologist has said on TV some years back. Something about how to handle anxiety. Something about doing something mundane, trivial and ordinary when emotionally distraught. Something about how doing something ordinary when emotions are running high helps one keep balance, and helps one to ride out the raging tidal waves of painful emotions.
Him: I'm going to brush my teeth. Goodbye
He logged off and shut down his PC. He then took a long hard at his bags. A tear meandered down his left cheek. He got his brush and paste and made his way to the bathroom.
--------------------------------------------------------
*Dedicated to you Xto. Keep your head up. Alma fuerte!
