S-H-O-r-T

Life is short
give it your best shot

I want new mail (continuation)

the new mail's from a friend
a good friend
he likes to share insights
stuff he's learned along the way
that he thinks I might find useful
this one is long
I read it
I can feel where he's coming from
I smile at times
at other times I feel a pain in my chest
and when I'm done
I tell myself, "I'll reply later"
"I need time to get a good reply together"
but I never do
time flies by
the clock ticks
Mayowa's mail remains in my inbox
unreplied
and I
Mayowa's friend that screamed
screamed and begged for new mail
got what she wanted
new mail, with the emphasis on the word "new"
coz I had mail all along
a stack of old mails
that I never responded to
ain't my fault
they ain't new no more...

I want new mail

...so I can find a reason to smile
so I know someone out there
thought about me enough to write
No mass mailed jokes please
and definitely no to chain mails
and no thanks, I don't want any Viagra
I just want plain old regular mail
"Hi, I was thinking of you"
"Guess who got married!"
"I love you"
Get me out this boredom, someone please
send me new mail
so I can find meaning in a bunch of akward shapes
from which I derive meaning when I look at them
"You have mail!"
Ha, prayers answered
wonder who this is...
(to be continued)

Beat!

Don't take anything I write seriously
I will change my mind about every single thing
I've ever written on this blog
I'm a slave to my emotions
and an uncaring master they do make
so I fight them on these pages
this is war, people, and it ain't always fun
some days I'm dark and cold (like today)
other's I'm the sun on a hot Finnish summer day
I'm like a plain book
you can always tell who's winning

PS. Just in case you haven't
noticed, I got my butt whooped today!

What "they" say...

What is it that "they" say
or that "they" have said
and who are the "they"
that are saying it
or that have said it
there is no "they" saying anything
it's you giving credence
giving validity
to your fears
opinions handed down to you
third-hand, second-hand at best
it's you copping out
refusing to find out for yourself
refusing to test your limits
or those of the world in which you live
there is no "they"
and even if there were
"they" ain't saying shit worth listening to!

Out there in the wilderness...

What do people really mean
when they say they are depressed
are they describing a state of being
something that is a given
a place so real the body can feel it
or are they describing a vague feeling
something that's really nowhere specific
yet present everywhere they look
catholic, ubiquitous, all pervading
...
or are they just hinting
searching for means to describe
something that can't be named
Are they just trying to put tags
on the feelings/state I have/am in right now?

We all roses

Met a beauty queen
poised, elegant, gorgeous
everyone takes a second look at her
make that a third, fourth and fifth look
she stands out, no doubt
but at the end of the day
she's just like me
just like you
insecurities
uncertainties
frailties
strengths
talents
gifts
we all have thorns
but we all roses too

Rudderless yatch

A life lacking in emotions/heart
but full to the brim with thoughts/analysis
is like a rudderless yatch
with the world's most advanced mast
it'll end up anywhere it ends up
and it'll get there fast!

The world in your head...

is not neccessarily a true reflection
of the world out there
you may be wrong, you know
life might just work differently
but hold this as consolation
the world you see is nothing but an extension
of the world in you, what's in your heart
you see what you are
so in a way it matters little
what the world "out there" is
what matters more
is what it shows you have in you
What do you see?
What's in you?

God loves us so much...

but we seem bent on outdoing him
with the contempt, the senseless self loathing
with which we view ourselves

Two posts of pure gibberish...

Post one - I pondering "I"

Can an illusory subject,
parading itself as an object,
fully comprehend an elusive object,
charading as a subject?

Is this not folly?

Post two - Untitled

I'm used to making Heaven without babies...

Who am I?

A part of the human family
a short-lived, transient expression
in God's unfolding, eternal creation

A different spin on the creation story

Genesis chapter 1 reads, "1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 The earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters. 3 Then God said, "Let there be light"; and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light day, and the darkness He called night. And there was evening and there was morning, one day."

I read these opening verses of Genesis and came up with a very interesting interpretation. It goes thus - when God said "let there be light" he meant let the things he was working on - in the physical realm - be visible to the members of the heavenly realm. That has to be it, because there was no Sun yet to generate light.

Verses 14 to 19 of Genesis read, "14 Then God said, "Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night, and let them be for signs and for seasons and for days and years; 15 and let them be for lights in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth"; and it was so. 16 God made the two great lights, the greater light to govern the day, and the lesser light to govern the night; {He made} the stars also. 17 God placed them in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth, 18 and to govern the day and the night, and to separate the light from the darkness; and God saw that it was good. 19 There was evening and there was morning, a fourth day."

As you can see, the Sun was created later, on the fourth day, so that means the light he spoke of first was not the light from the Sun!

Also notice that there were no beings that needed light - save the plants - until after he created the Sun. See verses 9 to 13, which read, "9 Then God said, "Let the waters below the heavens be gathered into one place, and let the dry land appear"; and it was so. 10 God called the dry land earth, and the gathering of the waters He called seas; and God saw that it was good. 11 Then God said, "Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, {and} fruit trees on the earth bearing fruit after their kind with seed in them"; and it was so. 12 The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed after their kind, and trees bearing fruit with seed in them, after their kind; and God saw that it was good. 13 There was evening and there was morning, a third day."

My take is God told the angels he was going to create another realm, and wanted them to see what he was working on. Hence the command, "let there be light". He was drawing back the curtains with that command. He'd already formed the Earth, work had begun, and when he let the others see what was happening, that formed the first earth day. That was when Earth's history started, when the Heavens started talking about us. There's no history without commentary.

God continued his work after he'd "pulled back the curtains". He made the sky in day 2. The angels were still watching. He made the seas and land and vegetation in day 3 (as seen from the verse above). The plants he created got a rest from work on there first night, as there was no Sun to provide fuel for photosynthesis. But work started the next day as he created the Sun on day 4. He also made the moon and the other stars.

On day 5 he created the first physical beings that needed light to move around and function - i.e. the fish and the birds. He couldn't have created them a day earlier, you see. Day 6 saw him creating the rest of the beings to occupy the earth realm, animals to inhabit the earth, and the crowning glory of all his work, us. The angels had been watching the whole scenario. They must have wondered why God was going through all this trouble for this being "moulded from clay". No wonder one of them got jealous, and decided to undo all God had done. But that begs the questions - had Adam not sinned, how would creation have unfolded?

Lessons from a great book - 16/03/05

The verse - Matthew 25:14-30

14 "For (referring to the kingdom of Heaven) it is just like a man going on a journey. He called his own slaves and turned over his possessions to them. 15 To one he gave five talents; to another, two; and to another, one--to each according to his own ability. Then he went on a journey. Immediately 16 the man who had received five talents went, put them to work, and earned five more. 17 In the same way the man with two earned two more. 18 But the man who had received one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground, and hid his master's money.

19 "After a long time the master of those slaves came and settled accounts with them. 20 The man who had received five talents approached, presented five more talents, and said, 'Master, you gave me five talents. Look, I've earned five more talents.' 21 "His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful slave! You were faithful over a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Enter your master's joy!' 22 "Then the man with two talents also approached. He said, 'Master, you gave me two talents. Look, I've earned two more talents.' 23 "His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful slave! You were faithful over a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Enter your master's joy!'

24 "Then the man who had received one talent also approached and said, 'Master, I know you. You're a difficult man, reaping where you haven't sown and gathering where you haven't scattered seed. 25 So I was afraid and went off and hid your talent in the ground. Look, you have what is yours.' 26 "But his master replied to him, 'You evil, lazy slave! If you knew that I reap where I haven't sown and gather where I haven't scattered, 27 then you should have deposited my money with the bankers. And when I returned I would have received my money back with interest.

28 "'So take the talent from him and give it to the one who has 10 talents. 29 For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have more than enough. But from the one who does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him. 30 And throw this good-for-nothing slave into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'

The context

The way I see it, and this is open to debate of course, “the master” was a successful investor. He probably had no children, at least none hold enough to manage his estate, and that’s why he handed his estate over to his slaves while he was away. Another possibility is that his kids were going with him on the journey.

I suspect he was a serious investor in businesses, those dealing in agriculture, animal husbandry and trade (the chief businesses of the day); well-versed in business matters, and also well-informed and well-connected (notice his reference to the bankers).

It’s likely he had a portfolio of business investments and spent his days meeting with the managers of the companies he’d invested in or was about to invest in (either via equity or loans). Ten to one he took a slave or two along with him as he made his rounds. It’s unlikely he would have made his rounds on foot, and someone would have had to guide the camel or the horse he rode on. Thus his slaves must have known a lot about his business dealings. They knew the places he went, who he met with, etc. And he knew that they knew.

The situation

The master is travelling. He calls in his three slaves and entrusts his estate to them. His house, fields, horses, cattle, sheep, etc. It’s likely he had other slaves but these three were like his personal assistants (“PAs”); his chief slaves, if you will. The master tells his PAs to take care of the place, and just before he leaves, he gives each some money (probably one of his investments just matured, and he did not have enough time to make new investments before he had to travel).

Notice that he gives each slave a different amount. Why? The verse says he gave each “according to his own ability”. He must have gauged the ability of each in their time with him (while going on business calls, while running his estate, etc). So he gave according to his estimation of their abilities, using himself as a standard (to judge something you need a standard to measure against).

I believe the master did not tell his slaves what to do with the money specifically. I believe he said something along these lines “Take this money. I’ll ask for it when I get back. Something for you to hold on to, just in case”. He left it to them to decide what to do with the money.

I believe this was a test to separate those with initiative from those without. They were accountable to him and he wanted to see/confirm his suspicions about who was most like him amongst the three, i.e. who had what it took to become a successful investor like himself.

Slave 1 immediately goes about making money. I suspect he went to the same people he’d seen his master have business dealings with and asked if they needed money for their businesses. He’d seen his master do it, and here was his own chance to run his own portfolio, even if it was only for a while. He jumped at the chance. He’d made up his mind he wasn’t going to be a PA all his life. Here was his chance for advancement. He saw opportunity in the situation and grasped it with both hands. He was taking a risk – there was no guarantee he would be able to give his master back the principal of five talents if he invested the money – but he was determined to try.

Slave 2 likely did the same thing. Slave 1 was the obvious leader of the three, the brains of the group; his master gave him five talents, compared to three for the other two slaves. I suspect slave 2 realized this and sought slave 1’s advice about what to do with the money. They must have discussed business prospects, how to assess the credit worthiness of a business, etc. He then went on to make his own investments, likely with the same people his master had dealings with.

Where slaves 1 and 2 saw opportunity, slave 3 saw a noose around his neck! Slave 3 saw the money given to him not as a chance to prove himself, but as a burden to escape from. Here he was been given money he had not asked for, and he was expected to return it when his master returned. What if he spent it? What would he tell his master? It’s either slave 3 could not see the possibilities of doing business with the same people his master did, or he was too scared to make a move. Either way, his mindset of irresponsibility, coupled with his lack of a vision for a better life for himself, held him back. He hid the money. He didn’t take a chance like the other two slaves. His fear immobilized him. Like his master said, he didn’t even think about giving the money to the bankers to earn a return. The man just had no initiative. Worst of all, he didn’t have the common sense to emulate his master’s ways with money when he was given some to be a steward for.

I believe slave 3 knew what 1 and 2 were up to. How could he not have? I suspect he thought they were being fool-hardy. What made them think they could do things like the master? Who did they think they were? How dare they? Slave 3 must have thought he was doing the right thing, playing the role of the slave as his master intended for him to do. But did it not bother him that he was given the least of the three slaves?

Months passed and slave 3 stuck to his guns. I suspect the master was away for an agricultural season, giving his slaves enough time to invest in new crops being planted and cash in when the crops were harvested. Slave 3 likely thought his peers were going to “get it” when their master returned. How wrong he was.

When the master returned he called his three slaves to get an account of how they’d managed his estate in his absence. I suspect they all did well as regards the estate itself (the verse does not mention how the rest of the estate was managed). However we do know how the master felt about how the funds he’d given his slaves were managed.

With slave 1, the master was incredibly happy. His suspicions had been confirmed – here was a slave with initiative and brains, someone who could run a business on his own if given the resources. Perhaps it was this type of test the master himself had to scale before he achieved his great wealth. The master says he would give him more to manage, and true to his word, we see the master refer to him as the “one who has 10 talents” in verse 28. He went from having no talents to having five, and then ten. Success builds on itself.

Slave 1’s account showed that he had 10 talents available to give back to his master, but it is not mentioned what costs slave 1 had to incur to generate the money. It is likely slave 1 had revenues greater that 10 talents, but had to spend money moving around, eating on the road instead of at home, etc. He probably even kept a little for himself.

Slave 1 basically ran his own company and then presented his accounts to his company’s sole shareholder (his master) for review when he asked. And he thoroughly delighted his company’s shareholder. He was rewarded by been giving more to manage – retained earnings ploughed back into the business plus the original investment.

Slave 2 also delighted his master. He made less in absolute terms, but his ROI was the same as that of slave 1 – 100%. He’s proven he is capable. Perhaps not the ideas man that slave 1 is, but a capable steward as well.

Slave 3 on the other hand, incurred the wrath of his master by giving him an ROI of zero. He had actually robbed his master, for had his master known he was going to hide the money, he would have stopped at the bank on his way out of town to deposit the money and earn interest on it. Not only has slave 3 not added value, he has destroyed value. He has not been useful to himself, and neither has he been useful to his master. The estate can do better without him. He is asked to leave.

Lessons from the story

* God gave you life. You are accountable to him. He expects you to appreciate his gift and do the best you can with it. This means you have to love and cherish yourself. The Bible says, “love your neighbour as yourself”. This implies that the love you have for yourself be the standard for the love you show your neighbour. Living this will empower you and give you vision and motivation for a better life (something slave 3 lacked)

* Remember whom you are accountable to and make sure you please them (within limits of course as your accountability to God comes first)

* Copy the ways of successful people, especially if you are accountable to those successful people. We all like people that are like us

* When others are given more resources and responsibilities than you are, then it is a sign that they are perceived in a better light than you are. It is up to you to find out why

* If you are given less then you’d better work extra hard to make sure you correct the impression that lead to you being given less

* Keep company with people you can learn from. No one knows it all

* Work to add value wherever you are. When you stop adding value you become dispensable. The more value you add the more indispensable you become

God, man and money...

God created mankind
and in his loving nature
spread talents and capabilities
varied and diverse
amongst them all (what a great dad!)

But then some sharp men created something else
money, M-O-N-E-Y
and with it all the power it brings
and changed the rules of the game
undoing all God had sought to achieve

Yes, God’s plan remains visible
there are geniuses born to every race
special ones born to every continent
in useful talents and gifts
the world looks like a somewhat even field

Some places produce great runners
some produce great cars (those made in Bavaria come to mind)
some have a knack for working with leather
others produce great singing talents
proof of God’s love for all (what a great dad!)

But man’s creation has set up walls
you can be the most talented dude in the world
but without a practical, workable way to convert that talent
to cold hard cash – the universal language, some say
you gonna be on the outside looking in

Money
it won’t buy happiness, and it won’t guarantee fulfilment
but it sure would buy a bed and a warm meal
a very good start if you ask me
just ask the neighbourhood wino!

Leaders: born or made?

There’s a belief in certain circles that leaders are born, and not made. Proponents of this theory see business school mostly as a waste of time. “How can you teach something that is not really teachable”, they ask. “It’s either you have it, or you don’t”, most are quick to add.

Another school of thought claims that best practices, and in turn leadership, can be taught, but only to willing and highly motivated learners. Naturally most of the supporters of this view work in the four walls of business schools. Or they facilitate business courses with snazzy titles like “Dare to succeed”, “Winning the battle of business”, etc.

As someone that has spent over three years in business school – on both sides of the class – I must confess that I am sitting on the fence right now. I was an eager student while earning my MBA. I heard all the theories. I ate them up. I was being prepared to tackle the world of real business (or so I thought). Later on as a lecturer, a role I played for two years, I taught the theories I’d learned as an MBA student. I taught them with as much passion as when I’d first learned them. Perhaps even more. I was a business evangelist, spewing the truths of the workings of the capitalist system. I was fishing for men, businessmen.

Today I find myself leaning more and more to the side of the fence that insists leaders are born and not made. What led to this re-orientation? Reality. Three years of working in industry, first in telecoms and then in banking, have woken me up to the reality that some people have it, and most don’t. It’s just a fact of life.

Forget all those aptitude tests HR people like to conduct to determine who will succeed on the job or not. I am more and more convinced that they are a bloody waste of time. After all, if they were so good, how do they allow so many people that “don’t have it” join firms that keep shouting that they only recruit “the best”? "The best at what?” I ask. The best at not taking decisions, the best at having zero initiative, the best at doing the minimum to get the paycheck? “The best at what?” I ask again. I do understand that HR needs a means of screening applicants, and what they use now works, somewhat. My fear is just that they are using the wrong criteria to separate the leaders from the followers, the suns from the moons.

Suns shine bright. Leaders stand out. They make a difference. Revolution is their game. They create momentum. They innovate. It’s just that simple. Of course there are different ways of standing out, but regardless of the means, most real leaders have something in common – heart. They are risk-takers who will not settle for second best. They love themselves too much to let the good things in life pass them by. To put it another way, “they’re hungry”, and that hunger drives them.

Moons reflect light. Managers are part of the woodwork. They keep the status quo. Evolution is their watchword. They maintain the momentum created by others (the good managers, that is). They manage. Managers, the breed I suspect business schools have been churning out over the years under the guise of leaders, are masters at perfecting what is. They can spot all the errors in a proposal. They can tell you why your processes don’t work. But give them a blank sheet and ask them to create and they are lost. They won’t even know where to start.

So what to do? What hope for HR? What role is the b-school of the 21st century to play given the reality that most of their products go on to make good managers and terrible leaders?

My solution is disarmingly simple. Teach people to appreciate themselves, and their leadership potentials will show. And it is in that that I think those in the “leaders are born camp” have it right (at least partially). It’s not so much that some people are born to be leaders, no. I believe it’s more a case that some lucky people are born with an amazingly deep sense of innate self-worth, and these people, given the right education and chances for advancement – by their family and society at large – often turn out to be exceptional leaders.

And this would also explain why b-schools find it so challenging to make leaders of managers. You can teach all the theories in the world, but unless the recipients have a solid foundation to build on – i.e. love for self, love for life, love for success – you’re not going to get very far. You’ll only be equipping people that can only think within the box with tools for thinking better within the box.

As Einstein once said, “problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them”. The great man also said, “imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand”. Leaders are needed to show humanity what is possible, what can be. Self-love and a genuine desire for self-improvement form the engine that drives the intellectual processes that create new thoughts, processes and tools for mankind’s benefit.

I suspect this also explains why some countries are better developed than others. Why some forge ahead, while others in similar situations fall behind. Some countries just have a solid culture of self-appreciation. We’re not talking being emotional here. We’re talking about countries with citizens that believe in the innate importance of human life. Countries and cultures that believe in progress, in the continuous betterment of the quality of life of their citizens. A marked difference from the apathy to life that pervades out own country – poor working conditions for factory workers (and surprisingly, for professionals as well), corpses on our roads, non-existent infrastructure, an appalling educational system, etc. The list goes on.

But back to my suggestion. Love. Self-appreciation. Having a sense of true worth. Disarming simple and basic. Aren’t these things we learn as children? So yes, in a way leaders are made. But not by b-schools and “success facilitators”, but more by great parents, aided by a society that affirms the basic goodness and worth of the individual. Perhaps this partly explains Nigeria's present situation, where those at the helm of affairs are not only horrible managers, but terrible leaders as well.

Dry spell

Drained
reticent
yawning

Spent
pissed
empty
lonely
lost

What we are

When we think we are what we are not
We cannot be what we are

Baby chicken

There’s a dying baby chicken outside my window as I write this. Pale brown, her spine got snapped this afternoon during a food stampede. She’s still, immobile, yet she speaks. How unreal.

Life wants to move, but is trapped in an immobile object. So heavy. The spirit can’t move, so it speaks. It can’t get to where or who it wants to get to, so it speaks. It calls out.

But the spirit will stop calling out soon. I can sense it. It’s only a matter of time. And when it stops calling out, I’ll know she’s dead.

How many are calling out to you?

To the bankers out there

An overdraft
creates a debit balance
and a debit balance
is basically an overdraft

either way
we pay interest
we bear the cost
when we give freely
of that which we have not

one must love oneself
before one can truly
fully, completely
love another

What faces did you see yesterday?

There’s something about the way the human mind works
which I only just discovered yesterday
try it for yourself
attempt to remember the events of your yesterday
by playing the film of the day in your head
beginning from when you woke
and ending with when you slept
go ahead, try it, you got five minutes

…………………………………………

tough uh?
there are so many things that fall between the cracks
when you try to recreate your day using chronological time

but there’s another way
recall the faces you saw yesterday
the people you touched base with
on phone, by mail, via Skype
and as sure as night follows day
you’ll be able to put together
the events of your yesterday

So what faces did you see yesterday?

Balance

If you’ve ever walked a tightrope
you would know that balance is
somewhere in between standing still
and walking the unstable rope path
if you stand still
you just might fall flat on your face
and if you walk too fast
you just might fall flat on your face

To write or to observe, that is the question

Am I a writer
creating beautiful word paintings on paper
or merely an observer
taking dictation in life’s never ending presentation?

I think the latter
for what flows through me
is not created by me
I am merely a vessel

my purpose is to take the notes
and share them, as best as I can
let them flow, unimpeded
touch lives, if touching be allowed

I have written before
but experience shows me
that I am much better
at merely taking notes

Life makes my own creations
look like a bad painting
made with poor quality oils
on a torn shredded canvas

To life
the greatest artist of all
thank you for blessing me
with the gift of taking down your notes

What heaven must be like

Imagine you have six friends, like brothers
and each of them is never wrong
nothing they say is ever in error

ever
to them has been given the gift of truth
they see reality as is, no ether

now imagine these six never agree
amongst them is always dissention
even though close friends they be

how would you make sense of that
what logical conclusion must you come to
except to see the fact

that each of them speaks a reality
each sees a part, like the blind men and the elephant
parts that added together are sure to be

the whole, the truth…Heaven
that’s what it must be like
except we got souls numbering more than seven

Flat tyre

Driving down the freeway
listening to Sade
hear a honk from my right
loud, urgent, Japanese
“Your tyre’s going down” he shouts
I thank him
and slow down
need to pull to the kerb to check
he’s right
rear right tyre’s going down
must be a nail or something
no way I would have known
until it would have gotten noticeable
a sag to the right, the uneven drive
that chap just saved my tyre and rim
kind soul, I owe him
needed him to point out what I couldn’t see
same way I need you to point out the mistakes I make

Move over Visa (II)

This piece came to me from an experience yesterday. I stopped at the gas station to buy gas. A normal day. While waiting on the queue I noticed kids all over the place. Some begging for money. Some selling stuff - oranges, sweets, CD, what have you.

I've seen kids like this before, but I'd never noticed them. I did yesterday.

I noticed how these kids - both the beggars and the sellers - constantly looked around for someone to beg from or sell to. The beggars' eyes scanned every car, looking for a soft heart betrayed by pity in the eyes. The sellers' eyes scanned every car as well, but they looked for something else - desire for the items they hawked.

These kids were hungry. Not just hungry for food, but hungry for the things they wanted in life. They knew life didn't owe them a thing, rather it was them that owed life. Owed life to provide a return on what they'd been so freely given. They knew people didn't owe them anything, so they had to find ways to give to people, so people could give back to them. In exchange for money, the beggars gave a feeling of self-righteousness, and the hawkers refreshment and entertainment.

Though they sought different things in the eyes they scanned, they applied the same principle of tenacity. They didn't take rebuffs personally. A rebuff was just feedback from a would-be victim (for a lack of a better word) that he or she wasn't interested in buying something or in giving away money. A rebuff was just a hint to move on to the next car, to move on to the next opportunity. Simple.

Two simple things - tenacity and the ability to scan the environment constantly for opportunities. Two things that are not taught in school. Two things that are essential for ultimate achievement in life.

These kids had large helpings of these two things. And I, despite my expensive local and international education, did not.

I thought about this all the way home. I realized that I still drove my old 504 because I wasn't hungry enough. Wasn't hungry enough to demand from life what I wanted. Or was it that I didn't know what I really wanted. The thoughts played over and over in my head. I felt ashamed.

Given so much, yet doing so little with it. The very gifts that were meant to assure my success in life have dulled the twin attributes that are more important than all else. I looked at those kids with so much envy. I would not trade places with them, no, but God, what I would give to have their hunger and tenacity.

Move over Visa

How do I see life
as a daily opportunity
to move closer to my dreams
or as a daily grind
a pain, if you will
to bear and live through?

Do I take my days for granted
because they come free
and no price is paid upfront
to arise anew each day?

If a price had to be paid
to wake up each morning
and that price was
progression towards my dreams
would I pay it
or would I let life be

Such a simple thought
but so true
for that is the irony of life
the price is paid, must be paid
but we realize too late
for it is paid at the end
interest must be paid
whether in regret or in fulfillment
payment must be made

Move over Visa,
Life's the universal credit card

Obvious translation

I want to taste you where you want to taste me
I want to kiss you

Mend and continue (Haiku)

Mend and continue
when love leaves you down and out
be like J. Walker

keep on walking son
do take time to understand
what lead to the pain

but once you done that
get back up with a firm stride
mend and continue

Funerals make strange bedfellows

Funerals make strange bedfellows
and death does bring together
even as it painfully separates

spirit-filled Christians
income driven bankers

friends from childhood
acquaintances made in the last month

grave diggers hustling for loose change
grieving family members asking why

funerals make strange bedfellows
and death does bring together, somewhat
even as it painfully separates

Adieu Yinka
For you its bye to the things of this earth
no more pushing of Letters of Credit
confirmed or otherwise

To Yinka, a colleague that passed away last week, ten days short of his 31st birthday, leaving behind a wife and a two month old daughter. Rest in peace.

Equilibrium!

Our very attempts to close space (in sex)
create space (in birth)
while our very attempts to create space (in wars)
close space (in death).
Equilibrium!

God...me, you, them, us (the perfect, ever widening circle)

We all have God in us. Or better said, God/life flows through all of of us. The whole moves through the parts, but is greater than the sum of the parts. The movement adds to its weight. Hence the parts cannot experience the whole fully. It's just not possible.

Think of a hose, that midway branches out into a million sub-hoses. Is it possible for one of the sub-hoses to say the pressure of water coming out of it is the same as the pressure going into the single hose at the other end? No, it's not.

Each of us can experience a bit of God/Life/Bliss, which is infinitesimally smaller than the sum. Infinitesimally smaller. Yet as small as this is, some people never taste it. They walk through life unaware of what is theirs for the taking, unaware of their birthright. Their right just by being born.

What a shame. But means exist to help the soul that craves to know its source afresh. God is expanding further outwards. (S)He will not be held back. S(H)e needs us to move along. But this movement must be relearned. We once knew it instinctively, but it is a dance many have long forgotten.

It is uniform. Always has, always will be. It is eternal. Always has, always will be. It is steady. Always has, always will be. It is deep. Always has, always will be. It’s a vibration, a hum. A sound so low it is silent, so strong it is pure. So pervasive, yet hidden to most. It’s the spine that books' pages are bound around. It’s the white that is born when all colours unite.

It, he, she, is…we, you, they, are…GOD

Calling things into being, or calling being into things?

My pastor says we should call things into being
That we should have faith
and act like what we want is already ours
he says its the way of faith

Does he have it backwards?
it's a possibility, me thinks
perhaps we are not to call things into being
but call our being into things

A thought rises in my sub-concious
my inattentive mind misses the moment
of freshness, newness, divine birth
evidence that I am far from congruent

not acting as a whole
against myself, divided and torn
like a ship lost at sea
in the middle of a raging storm

But when I revisit the same moment
with my whole being, my full attention
with the whole of me, heart, mind and senses
in there lies potential for true creation

I approach each situation with my intention clear
with real knowledge of my self
and the connection I share with others
the storm passes away, all by itself

I tap into the energy that holds the heavens up
I reclaim my rightful position as a child of light
I create...powerfully...purposefully
and cause my maker delight

Meditate

Time was woven into creation
to keep souls unprepared for the truth
anchored to this plane, to protect them
from knowing the infiniteness of God

The experience of time
is the proof of separation from Him
from which all things flow

It is the evidence
that we are in exile
far from home
away from the domain of spirits

Sperm and egg collide
nine months before a soul arrives
desire brings two bodies together
nature and time do the rest

Desire...joining...merging...passage of time...life

But in our home country
the land of the eternal light
beings exist outside the context of time
we as exiles know this instinctively

Eternity is always now. No then. No before. No after. Just now. All the time.

Return home. Stop time. Meditate.

The sphere

Jasper: You quiet son. What you thinking?

Joybringer: Man, it just occured to me that if God keeps moving the way he's doing, he's going to have to move in on himself sooner or later. Like, how many planes and dimensions is he going to create? Sooner or later the axes planes are going to intersect, form a sphere, all wrapped in on itself, moving in on itself.

Damn son, that's the big bang theory right there. Big bang starts the universe expanding, and in the end the whole thing will end with it collapsing on itself. Big bang, then big collapse! Trip!!

Jasper: (with a blank look on his face) Yes, you have now officially lost it. It's no longer a possibiity, it's a reality.

View from the edge

Imagine infinite, never ending space expanding outwards. If you can imagine that then you're seeing what God sees.

The Universe/God is expanding. Get with the program.

Let him flow through you. Give. Of yourself. Of your passions. Of your means.

Expand. Touch lives. Give.

View from the Sun

From the Sun, a car travelling 400 km/hour on Earth looks stationary. From God’s view, all our struggling and striving for material things looks like nothing. God beckons us to come see from his view.

If I could...

I would spend more time with my baby sister
follow my real passions, my heart's desires
take that trip to Asia I've been dreaming about
apply for the PhD programs been thinking about
throw caution to the wind, release the vice on my heart
and love her like she seems to love me
and that goes for either of them

But I won't do any of these things
I seem intent on piling up to-dos
need more for future regrets to chew
if I could I would, but I won't

Heaven beckons

We gots to get free
open your eyes
can't you see
there ain't no you
there ain't no me
it's all us
there ain't no family
and no non-family
it's all one
the human family
the mind's got to expand
beyond 3D we need to learn to see
before this earth we leave
we must find our place
make it a temporaty home
before we leave for that which is eternal
heaven beckons, "come home"

Everything but brown

Everyone's beautiful in God's eyes
but I ain't God
and I still think you're the bomb!

You heart is pure
your mind is sharp
but Imma focus on your body for this one

You fine girl
the spark in your eyes
the heart warming smile
that striking blend of black hair
and lovely chocolately brown skin

Ha, your skin
don't know how you do it
but Mars bars ain't got it like you do
The chocolate layer that is your skin glows
it invites me to touch
to kiss
to stroke

Otto tells me your skin is the way it is
coz it reflects brown light
and absorbs all the other colours

well, I ain't no biology professor
but I do know this
You don't need no make-up
that your lovely smooth skin can do without
your skin, the colour of Mother Earth
and when I kiss you
it's like returning to her
you are my earth
the foundation on which I rest my heart
the place to which I return
when its all said and done

I cherish you
I love you
I adore you
You who are everything but brown