And so he went back into his body. He had been clinically dead for only a couple of minutes, during which the doctors had battled to save his life by sending pulses of electricity through him to revive his heart. Little did the doctors know it was up to Jake to determine if to come to or not. But come back he did, based on his conversation with the light bearer. The first thing Jake noticed on reentering his body was the shear weight of it. He had felt free and light just seconds before. All the pains he had forgotten about, especially the one in his chest, the pain that sent him out of his body, came rushing back as he opened his eyes to see the smiles and looks of relief on the faces of the doctors and nurses who had done their best to save his life.
‘Shhhh. Try not to talk,’ cautioned Dr. Earley. ‘Just listen to me. You had a cardiac arrest, and we almost lost you. Thankfully we were able to keep you with us. We’ll move you out of the ER in about an hour. Try to relax. A nurse will stay with you and I and the other doctors will check in every now and then. Oh, and the Prime Minister will be here to see you as well.’ The Prime Minister, thought Jake. He’d totally forgotten about her. How strange. She had been the focus on his thoughts over the last eleven months - how to keep her safe, protect her from obnoxious reporters, and even phone hackers. He had lost his own family while protecting another, and in the time he spent with the light bearer, he had not thought of her once. The only people he had thought about were his ex-wife and his two sons, who no longer called him ‘Dad’ with a joyous tone in their voices, but referred to him as ‘Jake’, just ‘Jake’. But the Prime Minister had not asked him to sacrifice his family. He had made that choice. He loved his job, and he was falling in love with her. Or so he thought.
So why hadn’t he thought about her while he was with the light bearer, Jake wondered to himself. At first it had been a shock discovering himself floating out of his body, and it had taken him a while to get used to it. He saw himself on the hospital bed, and watched the commotion as the doctors and nurses struggled to save him. Dr. Earley was shouting at the top of his voice ‘Stay with me, Jake, stay with me!’ Then he heard a strong, yet gentle voice say ‘Its interesting, isn’t it, watching yourself die and losing all you thought was important, and not being able to do anything about it?’ The voice startled him, and he turned round to look in the direction it came from. He turned and saw a small man with golden hair, smiling at him, wearing a pale-green robe that seemed to shimmer with light. The man held an unlit lamp in his right hand.
‘Hello, Jake,’ said the small man. ‘I am the light bearer,’ he continued. Jake looked at the unlit lamp in the small man’s hand, and sensing what he was thinking, the light bearer responded ‘I see you are wondering why someone called the light bearer is holding an unlit lamp. The lamp is not lit because it cannot be lit until you choose to light it, Jake. That is why I am here.’
‘I don’t understand,’ said Jake.
‘You are about to die. However you have some unfinished business in the earth realm. In such instances I am obliged to give you a choice between letting go of the unfinished business and letting your essence light this lamp, or returning to the earth realm to attend to your unfinished business, and letting the lamp remain unlit. Should you choose to light the lamp, I will carry your essence to the other side. That is why I am called the light bearer. So, Jake, what will it be. Do you want to go back, or cross to the other side?’
An image flashed through Jake’s mind as soon as the light bearer stopped speaking - a picture of his wife and sons, watching him as he packed his clothes and other personal items into a bad, got into his car, and drove off. He had glanced in the rear view mirror and seen his older boy Jack, consoling his mom, as John, the younger boy who he loved more, ran after his car for a while, and then gave up. That had been two months ago, but Jake could still see the picture, and the pain on John’s face, as if it all happened yesterday. Though he hadn’t felt any pain since he left his body, he suddenly felt a massive weight in his heart, dragging him towards his body laid out on the bed in the emergency room. ‘I have to go back now,’ said Jake.
‘Okay, Jake, if that is what you wish. One word of advice, though. Try to remember how you are feeling now while you are in the earth realm, and let the realisation that just dawned on you guide your actions every day. Keep this firmly in your mind as you go through the rest of your life, because the next time we meet, you may not have a choice in whether you light the lamp or not. Goodbye, for now.’ And with that the light bearer was gone, and Jake was back in his pain-riddled body.
Jake was still trying to get his thoughts together. He felt the need to get up, to ask questions. He needed to know what had happened to the shooter. Had the other agents gotten him? Had the Prime Minister been hurt? The last thing he remembered was jumping in front of her as the cameras flashed and he saw a gun being raised behind the row of paparazzis. He knew he had been hit twice, the pains he felt in his torso testified to that, but luckily he had been wearing body armour and the bullets had not done more damage. The Prime Minister, Claire, Jack., John, such a mess he had found himself in. Jake kept thinking as he closed his eyes and drifted into deep sleep.
‘Tell me the truth, Jake. You are in love with her!’ screamed Claire, just before throwing the plate she’d just used forcefully on the floor. White ceramic bits of china flew across the kitchen like shrapnel. One caught Jake in the leg. ‘I know you Jake, you’ve held it against me ever since we had to get married because I got pregnant with Jack. You’ve always blamed me because I forgot to use the pill. I always knew you wanted a different sort of woman, one of those Oxbridge types. I was never good enough for you, was I? Why won’t you just tell me the truth? Why?’ Claire started sobbing uncontrollably. Jack and John came in to see what the commotion was all about. They had been playing video games in the den when they heard something hit the floor. They looked at it each other, both thinking it was an accident. ‘Mom’s dropping things with her butter fingers again,’ said John, but then they heard the shouting and knew there was a problem. Jack ran upstairs immediately, and John followed somewhat reluctantly.
Jack was shocked when he entered the kitchen and saw his mom on her knees, weeping inconsolably, as she tried to pick up the ceramic shards strewn all over the kitchen floor. His dad was just standing, looking at her, motionless. Shock turned to anger as Jack glared at his father and shouted loud enough for the neighbours to hear, ‘Why are you always picking on mom, dad?’ He rushed to Claire’s side to console her, and brought her back to her feet. Claire held him tight as she cried. Jack was only 19, but in the last couple of years had come to be the man Claire looked to in the house, ever since Jake Sr. stopped being emotionally available. Jack stayed at the kitchen door, watching events unfold. His eyes darted between the faces of his brother, his mom and his father. He didn’t quite know what to make of the scene. He didn’t display any emotion, a trait he had picked up from his dad, but deep inside he wondered what the consequences of all this would be. He was three years younger than Jack, and looked up to his brother, but sometimes he differed with him in the role his mum played the issues facing his parents’ marriage. He just didn’t know what to make of everything, but he knew he didn’t know enough to help his parents save their marriage. Jack had tried to get his parents’ attention by joining a gang and getting into trouble, but that had not had the intended effect of bringing his parents together like he had hoped. If anything, it increased the wedge in his parents’ relationship. Jake was livid when he found out Jack had been involved in a gang shoot-out, and had raised hell in the house, asking how the son of a secret service agent could be involved in such activities. He had turned his anger on Claire, insisting she had spoilt him. Claire retorted that he was never home to enforce discipline. Jake and Jack had not sleep at home that night, one going to an hotel for the night, and the other going to stay with friends after the first left. It had been left to John to console his mom, but he didn’t find the words to stop her from crying till she fell asleep. John felt his mother cried a bit too much. He much preferred the silence of his dad.
The Smith’s marriage had been going through a rough patch in the last two years, and things took a turn for the worse when Jake got assigned to the security detail for the new Prime Minister - Sally Templeton. Mrs. Templeton was the UK’s first female Prime Minister since 1990. She became prime minister at 42, which was all the more amazing because she was a widower, and was totally devoted to her daughter, Penny. Beautiful, articulate, charming, well-educated, and very well connected, she had fought against all odds to rise to the position of Prime Minister in a span of five years after becoming a prominent figure in the Labour Party. She was loved by the media, adored by female groups, and respected by political leaders within the UK, and the rest of the world. An American newspaper had called her ‘Britain’s Obama.’ Jake had watched Sally’s rise to fame with interest, so when he was assigned to her security detail a year after she became Prime Minister, he looked forward to meeting her in person. He had been contemplating asking for a transfer to a less demanding department - he had just turned thirty-eight, and was starting to think his age would tell on him in demanding situations. But he put the idea on hold for a chance to protect Sally Templeton. Besides, the members of her security detail were the envy of all the agents, and he had worked hard to deserve a position on the Prime Ministers security detail.
Jake started his new role with little fanfare. Mrs. Templeton seemed nice, though very business like. She had aged very well, and up close, one could not tell she was 43. Penny was a beautiful fifteen year old who always had a smile on her face, and was friendly with all the staff at Number 10. Jake wondered why his own boys could not be more like Penny. Then one particularly cold day nine months into his new role, Jake held Sally’s hand as he helped her out of a car when she arrived back at Downing Street. The strictly professional relationship changed after that incident. Jake never did understand why, but he knew that was the day they started exchanging furtive glances. This continued for weeks. He felt there was something there, but was afraid to push it. The last thing he wanted was to end up in the tabloids like Diana’s lover. Jake hated undue attention of any sort. Sally not only exchanged glances with Jake, but she also started smiling more at him. Jake found this very difficult to resist, and found himself smiling back sheepishly. Jake was in great shape for his age, and always got compliments from women the few times he went on a night out with friends. But he never allowed things to go too far. He had his principles - work hard, have few friends, keep secrets, and stay loyal. But Sally Templeton was another matter all together. Soon Jake found himself always being the one to help Sally out of the car whenever he was on duty. Each time she would gladly thrust out her hand for him to hold, even when it seemed she did not need help getting out of a car. No one suspected anything, no one except Claire.
‘Why won’t you just tell me the truth?’ said Claire, in between sobs. Jake was speechless. Jack was not. ‘Why are you always making mom cry, dad?’ he asked angrily, as he held his mom. ‘If you want to be with the other lady, then just go! I hate you, I hate her. Just leave us!!’ Jake and John stood motionless in shock as the words hit home. Even Claire seemed startled. Then the phone rang, and Jake woke up. He had been dreaming, but his dream had been a recall of an actual event. He could still feel Jack’s eyes burning into his back as he walked out the kitchen towards the bedroom. John followed him. He had brought out his hold-all, packed some clothes and personal items. John, who had been following him and watching him silently all the while, had asked ‘Where are you going, dad?’ Jake had answered, ‘I need some time to be alone, son. It’s better this way.’ ‘But I don’t want you to go!’ snapped John. Jake had never heard his son so assertive before. Jake had not listened, and had made his way to the car, and driven off, with John running after him. That was the image Jake had when the light bearer told him about his unfinished business. Jake felt emotions well up in him and tears filled his eyes as he imagined the pain he had caused his family. He let the tears flow for a while and eventually forced himself back to sleep. He was drained physically and emotionally.
‘How are you feeling, agent Smith?’ asked Sally Templeton.
‘Much better, Prime Minister, much better. Thank you for asking.’ replied Jake as he sat up in bed and tried to wake himself up. He was still groggy from all the medication. Also there were others in the recovery room, so his appearance and tone had to be formal.
‘Thank you for saving my life, agent Smith. That was very brave of you,’ Sally responded.
‘Just doing my job, Prime Minister, just doing my job. It was nothing.’
The Prime Minister paused. Jake thought he could see a tear in her left eye. She looked sad, and uncomfortable.
‘Did you see the shooter?’ asked the Head of MI6.
‘No, Sir,’ responded Jake. ‘I only caught a glimpse of him lifting the gun up. The lights from all the paparazzis’ cameras made it difficult to make him out. Did you get him, Sir?’
‘Yes we did, Jake. I am sorry to be the one to break this to you, Jake, but it was your son. One of your fellow agents had to shoot him to stop him from taking more shots at you and the Prime Minister.’
Jake felt like a spear had just been driven through him when he heard those words. His mouth went dry, his pulse quickened, and time seemed to slow down. He glanced at the Prime Minister, Sally, and heard himself let out a loud wail, after which he broke into tears. Poor Jack, he had driven him to this. His love for his mom had so blinded him. Jake was beside himself in grief. What had he done? Was this the unfinished business the light bearer had told him about? Where was his chance to set things right with Jack? With Claire? With John? How could he get his family back together after this?
The Head of MI6 continued in a somewhat reluctant manner ‘I am really sorry, Jake. But we need to ask you about this. Just before he passed on he said “All I wanted was my family back”. We know he was your son because your wife and your first born, Jack, have identified the body. So what did he mean by that? Could you...’
Something in Jake snapped, and he was no longer listening. He stared intently at the door, his eyes focused on a small man dressed in a pale green robe, carrying a lamp that had just lit up.
