Difficult people, we all have two or three in our lives
People who insist on putting us in boxes
Who demand certain behaviours from us
Who want our life, or at least a part of it
On their terms, to suit their preferences
What to do with these people?
How to relate to them?
Do we accept defeat and get walked over?
Or do we stand up, speak for ourselves, and risk it all
Risk being ostracized from the work place
From the family, from the church
For these peoples’ influence can run wide and deep
I suggest there is a middle ground
A path we can walk that will appease the would be gods
Without us neither needing to lose our sense of self
Nor feeling like sell outs
The path is to accept the simple fact
That life is full of limitations
And that difficult boss, lover or neighbour
Is just another limitation to accept
Accept it for what is, the same way you accept a cold
Let me take the analogy further
You get a cold, first things that comes to mind
Is you wish you didn’t have it
But you accept it, that’s the crucial first step
Then you go about doing something about it
But you can’t cure the cold; you can only let it run its course
So you find ways of making yourself more comfortable
While the cold runs its course
And when it’s done you feel better and get on with your life
Likewise let us accept, though not embrace, our difficult people
They are but a passing phase
We will do best to make ourselves more comfortable
As we endure the type of pain they generate
But we cannot run from them all, alas, the world is full of them
Most men would rather be masters of others
Than masters of themselves
Self mastery is tough
Staying fit, staying relevant in today’s world
Being successful, having a say in your community
Those are difficult things to achieve
It’s a lot easier to snap at an employee
Or at a playful child, to rule in a little kingdom
Than to face the world at large and take it on
Don’t be deceived; difficult people are often the biggest cowards
We will always have difficult people with us
Just like we will always have the poor
And we will always have limitations in life
We will die, we will fall sick
These are the things life is made of, we cannot escape them
Limitations are here to stay
And we will do well to get used to them
Let us get used to them then
And seek to make the best of the life we have
Within the boxes they define
Of course we are free to choose our limitations
We are free to chose the tyrants we subject ourselves to
We can dump an abusive lover
We can change jobs to stop working for a condescending boss
But wherever we go, we will find limitations
And we will come face to face with one brutal fact
The world was here before us, long before us
And we play a role in it on its terms, not ours
And in that we realize one simple truth
Life is about seeking happiness within our limitations
